A Collection of Thoughts From the
Loved up Jonathan Law

The most blunt, and unintelligent pedophile joke I have ever seen.

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OMG, caps. I had a little hiatus from the whole blogging scene. I now have pages and pages of spam comments which I just mass deleted and an empty space in my life where this website has fallen.

The hiatus was forced from a few reasons, my exams and a-levels stressed me out, I bought an Xbox and I have an attentive girlfriend. I got back into my guitar and my drinking and my studies. I skipped a bit of grammar and done a whole shit-ton of Maths.

Thats not really good preparation for expelling prose from these nimble fingertips, but I will cope and get back into the flow of posting once a day. I promise, written in blood. With only some exceptions :p

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I was lying on the couch at my girlfriends house watching The Bourne Identity on ITV, when Kate pointed out the new Ikea advert. I was lazily paying attention at the time, it was getting late and I wasn’t really bothered what it was about. That was until the presenter uttered the line “we know you do more than sleep on your bed”.

It reminded me of the more risk-ay adverts that air in France and Germany and since Ikea is a European brand their adverts often feature some innuendo. In fact, the newest advert doesn’t really touch the surface of what has been ventured in the past by Ikea, and thanks to the wonder of viral videos on YouTube you can now watch them all. Most have been banned here in the UK, and I dare say America is even more strict when it comes to censoring sex.

Here’s a little one that I thought was rather amusing! 

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Its coming up to Valentines day and this year I have a fun girlfriend to celebrate it with (last year I just had a regular girlfriend :p). Supposedly the most romantic day of the year. For The definition of true romance it should be raining down full scale all year round, with couples celebrating their love both physically and emotionally everyday.

.If everyone had someone to love then the world would quite simply be a much nicer place, I know I always feel more chilled out and more centered if I have someone to focus my caring attention on. However the one I am focusing my affection on is not romantic in the slightest, maybe its from upbringing, or its in her genes. I thought every girl appreciated a little romance in their life, at least its supposed to make a couple feel special if their relationship is scattered with reciprocated romantic gestures. Some things may seem selfless at first and even sacrificial, like paying for a date only to be denied at the end of the night. However its little things like this that build a foundation for good relationships, that girl will tell her friends you payed, word will spread and you will be looked upon as a kind and generous person and perhaps even an old romantic! Even if the one you have set your heart on has knocked you back once or twice there is always another five girls waiting for the kind of romantic, generous guy you are.

There ain’t many blokes left who can truly appreciate a woman, and even fewer who can put that appreciation down in words. At the end of the day valentines day ends up being settled with cards that carry subliminal messages of sexual shenanigans, its a shame that sometimes in a relationship sex is so sparse that one partner must lavish gifts on the other in hopes of receiving some attention in that much neglected area. The card below perfectly sums up how I feel about valentines day, an excuse for shy guys to get romantic and a way for girls to act like sluts without being labeled as such ’cause it’s all in the name of romance.

 

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Well since I said “wow” out loud when watching this video, I’m by myself by the way, then I think I should share it with a few readers. If you aren’t a big fan of card tricks I could just convert you to this guy, there are some amazing slight of hand maneuvers that I just can’t figure out. It simply is like watching real magic in front of your eyes.

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According to a survey carried out by UKTV Gold, a television network here in the UK, all of us Brits are thick with no concept of differentiating fact from fiction. An article on Yahoo News points out that:

Britons are losing their grip on reality, according to a poll out Monday which showed that nearly a quarter think Winston Churchill was a myth while the majority reckon Sherlock Holmes was real.

I am a firm believer that statistics can be skewed, for instance taking a smaller sample than is acceptable, 3000 people were surveyed and the population of Britain is 60,776,238. Thats a 0.005% of the population, taking such a miniscule sample from such a large population cannot guarantee accurate results. Personally I think this is a backlash from all of the anti-American videos we have all over the internet.

Conspiracy theories are rife over the internet and TV, I think maybe us naive Brits are taken in by them and lead to believe things no-one in their right mind should. I think the PM who lead us through the second world was would be pretty pissed off if he knew that one in four people thought he was a figment of someone’s imagination. Oh and I think that Arthur Conan Doyle would be very proud that his detective duo of Sherlock and Watson are remembered, not just as characters on TV and in books, but as actual historical figures who solved real crimes and took real drugs.

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